


When they come for me

by darkcookie



Category: EXO (Band), VIXX
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale, Crack, Drabble, Fluff and Crack, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-24
Updated: 2018-08-24
Packaged: 2018-11-17 02:47:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11266338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkcookie/pseuds/darkcookie
Summary: Lee Hongbin was 8 years old.Lee Hongbin was beautiful and smart, two qualities that weren’t rare per se, but he had learned how to use them for his own benefit.





	When they come for me

**Author's Note:**

> Losely based off this:  
> http://darkco-okie.tumblr.com/post/141089488484/jcatgrl-copperbadge-persinetteinthetower  
> (very loosely)

Lee Hongbin was 8 years old.  
Lee Hongbin was beautiful and smart, two qualities that weren’t rare per se, but he had learned how to use them for his own benefit.  
Lee Hongbin was used to the most bizarre situations, so he simply smiled widely and let things go on.  
Lee Hongbin had two very fussy, over-worrying and hysteric caretakers that had been by his side even before he was born (even though no one ever explained him how that happened in detail).  
Lee Hongbin was too calm for his own good. Which meant that when two suited men came into his house the morning of his 9th birthday, requesting to collect him, he simply sat there eating his cereals.  
However, Kim Junmyeon (caretaker n.1) dropped the plates he was holding and Cha Hakyeon (Caretaker n.2) looked like a boiling kettle.  
The Suited Men sat down at the table with Hongbin and took a bowl of cereal each, waiting for a verbal reaction. Each of them had pulled out an enormous pile of papers, leaving them on the table as they ate the first meal they had had in ages, if one took into account how they were eating it.  
“How could you?” Hakyeon looked astonished at Junmyeon. “We said we wouldn't make any deals! That we would accept him no matter what!”  
Four pairs of eyes set on the very red and very hyperventilating Junmyeon who apparently was choosing to ignore the hypocrisy of the accusations thrown at him, since there were two Suited Men sitting at their table.  
“I just wanted to make sure we had a healthy baby!” Junmyeon started picking up the pieces of the plates he had dropped earlier. “We found him in a cabbage! I didn't know how he'd turn out.”  
“Excuse me,” one of the Suited Man said while he gorged a bit more of cereals. “I have here a contract with a Kim Junmyeon where he made an agreement with SM Fairies (We won't rest until all your wishes come true - and even then!) requesting flower boy beauty for Lee Hongbin.”  
Hongbin thought it was miracle that Hakyeon’s eyes hadn't fallen out yet.  
“Beauty? BEAUTY?”  
“WE FOUND HIM IN A CABBAGE!!”  
There was a soft cough next to Hongbin and everyone turned to look at the source.  
“As far as I am concerned,” said the other suited man “I have here a contract signed by Cha Hakyeon.”  
Suddenly his caretaker found an extremely interesting mark on the wall and proceeded to look at it intensely.  
“Cha Hakyeon signed an agreement with Jellyfish Fairies requesting for his protégée Lee Hongbin to be, and I quote, ‘tall like a tower’. Our response was, of course, that one may not be tall as a tower, so the settlement was ‘taller than Kim Junmyeon’.”  
Hongbin kept eating his cereal in silence, observing that as Junmyeon was turning livid, Hakyeon apparently thought that the best option was to leave his face resting against the wall and both Suited Men started nibbling on anything edible on the table.  
“How dare you,” Junmyeon said slowly “to say anything about the deal I made, when you signed an agreement like that?”  
Hakyeon then proceeded to bang his head against the wall several times while screaming “WE. FOUND. HIM. IN. A. CABBAGE!”  
Hongbin turned to the suited man next to him and asked him “What's a cabbage?”  
“Well, if you give me your first born child I could show you.”  
Hongbin seemed perplexed at the offer, and after a couple of seconds, he just pushed his own bowl of cereal towards the man.  
“A cabbage or headed cabbage is a leafy green or purple biennial plant, grown as an annual vegetable crop for its dense-leaved heads.” The Suited Man answered as he ate Hongbin’s cereal.  
In the background, his caretakers were screaming obscenities at each other and completely ignored that Hongbin was giving the Men all the food they had in exchange for answers to every question he ever had.  
Lee Hongbin was an incredibly smart boy, soon to be self declared flower boy and, most definitely, taller than Kim Junmyeon.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even remember when, how or why I wrote this. But it's ludacris and I like it.


End file.
